Wait!?!?!?!?! You mean those useless whirlygigs Britain planted all over their country isn’t enough to power the nation????!!!!!!?????
No one ever saw that coming, right?
Emergency measures will be introduced to prevent the lights going out this winter.
Offices and factories will be offered compensation to undergo 1970s-style energy rationing and shut down for up to four hours a day to prevent households being plunged into darkness.
In addition, owners of old power stations will be asked to switch them back on to meet the country’s demands.
National Grid had not planned to use this option until next winter. But yesterday it revealed a series of fires and setbacks had knocked some of the UK’s biggest generators out of service. Two nuclear power plants are also offline, and are unlikely to be running in time for the start of the colder weather.
Fires at coal stations in Ferrybridge in West Yorkshire and Ironbridge, Shropshire, have put the sites out of action, while a gas station in Barking, Essex, has been closed since the summer.
But, it seems, some don’t learn from their errors.
Under the powers, businesses that sign up will be ‘bribed’ to shut down between 4pm and 8pm on any day between November and February.
They will be paid a retainer during the four months, even if they are never called on to close early. If they do shut down, they will be paid above the market rate for electricity they do not use.
Meh! What could possibly go wrong with paying people not to produce?